What if Biya’a stopped dyeing his hair?

By Dr. Patrice Nganang (Translated from French by Dr. Peter Vakunta)

Ludicrous Biya’a whose hair is darker than those of Obama who is thirty years his junior!  Let Biya’a tell us the truth: what products does he use to dye his hair?   He cannot be using simple dyeing products because at 80 the tissue of his hair has certainly become resistant to products intended to darken only the surface of one’s hair. Undoubtedly, he needs products that would penetrate his hair down to the root of each hair in order to obtain the coloring effects that he desires. With the fortune he has amassed over 30 years as president of Cameroon, he certainly spurns ‘Just for men’ products sold everywhere. He needs products that would enable senile folks like him to grow false hair. Is there anything that still surprises Cameroonians about this fellow who has governed their country under a pseudonym, and a counterfeit age minted in Kumba? Could he be the only one in his generation who was not born ‘circa 1930’ in the South of Cameroon?  Is there anything about this man that is not make-believe? Maybe his denture.

This tyrant may put on as much make-up as he deems fit, it will not change this fact: ignominy bears the face of putrefaction.  This despot may dye his hair as dark as he likes, it will not obliterate this irrefutable truth: infamy has the dripping face of ugliness. This is a universal truth that no hairdresser can deny. Ah, this old man, see how he uses artifices to conceal his real age in a culture where age is actually venerated! But let him not forget that truth cannot be hidden from us for too long, for today the President of Cameroon is stark naked! Yes, dear friends, take a look at him! Look at this man who will soon be bedridden, and yet sends soldiers to oppress his own people, youths in the most part!  Take a look at this old man who takes delight in assassinating the youths of this country. Look at this aging man who seeks solace in the lap of a young woman, in a bid to hide his hideous face! And yet, tell me my friends, what kind of lotion does he apply on his face to eradicate wrinkles? And his moustache, yes his moustache, doesn’t he dye that one too?

And then-o!  Just look at this tyrannical old man with a borrowed face and clanking voice. He deludes himself into believing that he holds the future of this country in his hands. In his bed he mistakes each one of us, each Cameroonian for this Chantal that he pounds and screws with the aid of viagra. In his demented haste, characteristic of revelers, to prolong his stay at Etoudi, Biya’a fails to pay heed to these simple words that every Cameroonian youngster whispers to him: Fella, when people don’t want you anymore, quit before they chase you away! Yes, we want elections; but not Biya’s self-succession.

Elections without Biya!   That’s our catch-phrase. Asking Biya’a to leave now is not a plea; rather it is a wise piece of advice. It is our way of telling him that allowing him to rule for seven more years in addition to the thirty he has already spent at the helm in Cameroon would amount to a political crime. Seven more years in power would aggravate matters for him.  He should remember that winning the upcoming October elections would not earn him the legitimacy he so badly needs to govern Cameroon. The ghosts of the hundreds of Cameroonians he has killed have robbed him of executive legitimacy. Cameroonians may never give him the chance to enjoy the peaceful retirement that he may be entitled to; a retirement he never allowed his predecessor, Ahmadou Ahidjo, to enjoy.

To quit power in a dignified manner is in itself a vote that can be won or lost. This time the choice lies with the tyrant, Biya’a. He may do well to take his cue from a few recent examples: Blaise Compaoré had an 80.21%  victory in the November 25, 2010 elections in his country; yet today he sleeps with only one eye closed  on account of fear of his people who have unexpectedly woken up to denounce fraud. He had to quickly appoint a minister of defense in order to appease the soldiers who were hell-bent on getting rid of him. Museveni who also fraudulently won the presidential elections in his country by 74% has to resort to high-handed methods to keep his people silent. But the question that begs being asked is: how long will this last?  It does not suffice to win elections in order to stay in power. Ben Ali who won 89.62% of the votes out of an 89.40% voter turnout during the presidential elections in Tunisia on October 25, 2009 would have this to say to Biya’a: voices that have remained mute for so long are not necessarily contented.

So, Biya’a should desist from acting the fool!  Political wisdom does not consist in imposing oneself on the electorate by means of subterfuges or by wielding BIR guns. Political sagacity is measured by one’s willingness to learn the lessons of the times: the wisdom to acknowledge the fact that thirty years at the presidency is too much! Ah, and talking about time, go ask Gbagbo who knew how to transform time into a dreadful weapon. Ask him where he would be today had he resigned on March 30!  Power is sweet for he that still has it but let us never forget that the rage of a downtrodden people who have been silenced for a half century is a regicidal time-bomb that brooks no imposture. Believe me, Biya’a, yes believe me, Biya’a Paul, for such is your real name, even your graying hair shall not earn you an iota of respect when the Cameroonian people shall have lost their temper.

Source: Up Station Mountain Club


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Julius Che says:


  2. King says:

    It is surprising that people dwell on such details as how President Paul Biya takes care of his hair. Only idle people can embark on such things. The products President Paul Biya uses for his hair have got nothing to do with money embezzlement. Anybody can use any product to take care of his hair as far as it suits him and gives the expected resultsn, so don’t be silly.

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